It was a Friday. June 1st, 2002 I believe. I showed up to 807 to meet a reclining Hatty Man, and my sister, Paris Hilton. The plan? Road trip to Canada's mecca of high culture- Hamilton, Ontario. Hatty said we had to stop at Krispy Kreme on the way and well, none of us raised our voices in opposition. I mean, sure they give away hats and free donuts, but really- ANY excuse to go to Missisauga sounds pretty bomb to me. And there we were....

The drive-thru line at Krispy Kreme was vicious. Some gaydads in a minivan tried to pull a merge and we hugged the bumper on the minivan in front of us and as we cut them off we shouted and made "hand gestures of success"

Upon realizing the minivan was stuffed full of kids, Hatty jumped out of the car and apologized to them. I think they were cracking up about it as much as we were for some reason. So we tried to take a picture of them. See the minivan? It's hard to see past my greatly exaggerated nose in this photo.

Don't let her tell you different, Paris Hilton is a DONUT WHORE. She also has really shiny hair and loves to rock to Brooks and Dunn!

I really think Krispy Kreme needs to pay me and my friends money for eating, well, an obscene quantity of their donuts and looking so cute doing it.

Maggie had trouble with her hat. She may or may not have an enormous cranium. Basically she is ahead of her time and soon 'busted up hatz' will be the new thing and Maggie will be Toronto's answer to Warhol. But not gay. And with no wig.

We found this dude wandering around Hamilton in red jeans and a hippy shirt. Meredith, I mean, Paris, had no change for him. But we took this picture of them together because he had good hair.

Hatty Man? More like Hottie Man! Here he is with Ben in Hamilton's worst and possibly ONLY falafel place! Meanwhile... down the street...

Even their Pizza Pizzas are different! Wow. 527-11-11? Get outta here!!!