Enough bullshit. It was time to expose ourselves. Here you see me and Maggie as slutty sailors, hawking our wares on the main drag. The nautical theme is reinforced by Oakville's captivating neon artistry in anchor form.

I am looking bored and jaded. Possibly because I am Nicky Hilton and 'bored and jaded' is the only expression my face can perform. Maggie has a come-hither stare and don't-come-on-me breasts. You think we have time to bathe every 2 seconds? No. Let's keep it tidy.

That plant is not growing out of my head and no, after this photo was taken a police car did NOT tailgate us for like a mile until Meredith faked him out.

All in all, a terrific night. Public urination, public humiliation, krispy kreme high fat concentration, bon jovi on the radio station...

Back to our town. We still had donuts. Hatty chased some people down but they were frontin so he settled for these drunk guys.